Calling me ADD and ADHD says more about you than me.

It’s not ADD that I have, it’s me thinking about stuff that is always more interesting than the things people are saying around me.

I don’t have a disorder. You are boring and I don’t value what you say. Don’t project your social failures upon me.

Be accountable for having the personality of a wilty leaf of kale desiccating unnoticed and unwanted on the yogurt-streaked steel wall of the dumpster behind the Halls of Vegan Valhalla in Oxnard, California, which is an insult very specific and rich in detail and is exactly the type of thing I’m thinking of instead of listening to you.

Reprinted by kind permission of Steve’s Thoughtcrimes.