Yes, most narcissists are annoying. No, not every narcissist is abusive.

A flurry of articles on narcissism have been popping up the past few weeks. More specifically, these articles detail everything wrong with the narcissist, paying focused attention to how innately abusive and dangerous narcissists are to empathetic peers. The way the articles are presented, the claim is all narcissists are abusive and dangerous.

I’m not an apologist for the behavior of personality disorders. I was married to a narcissist for a decade and live with PTSD symptoms so near the surface always. My choice of being married to Susan fucked me up something powerful.

Truly. She gifted me a lifetime of emotional osteogenesis imperfecta. Ripping cool metaphor that is.

About this flurry of seemingly critical articles of late: What I’d like to see is a more measured account of narcissistic behavior, and the insinuated absolute that “all narcissists are abusive and dangerous” be tempered in the same way the absolute “all mentally ill people are violent” is being debunked . . . as all stigmas should.

If I’m not apologizing for the narcissist and I’m not embracing the narcissist, what precisely am I carrying on about? Look, what I’m asking is to be careful not to create an unintended stigma around narcissistic personality disorder based on this flurry of articles being passed around.

Recall the wisened utterance of Jedi Master Obi Wan Kenobi:


“Only the Sith speak in absolutes!”


If you understood that reference you have betrayed you’ve seen THE PREQUELS and I weep for your sullied, tormented soul as I weep for mine. We can never unsee THE PREQUELS. Never. Never.

To be fair, I have great difficulty having any sort of meaningful relationship with someone displaying narcissistic behavior. They’re really flipping annoying and draining. It’s like having a relationship with a mirror. Thank the stars for low hanging fruit or I’d have no wit at all.

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